The Human Element: Tom Esch on Communication, Conflict, and AI in Construction

In an era where artificial intelligence is reshaping industries at breakneck speed, the fundamentals of human connection remain surprisingly relevant—perhaps more so than ever. We recently had the pleasure of hosting Tom Esch on the Project Flux podcast, a man whose journey from Catholic priest to construction industry consultant offers a unique perspective on communication in traditionally "tough guy" environments.

As AI tools become increasingly embedded in our workflows, Tom's insights into human connection, conflict resolution, and psychological safety provide a timely reminder that technology alone cannot solve our most fundamental workplace challenges. His work with construction professionals reveals both the enduring importance of human skills and the potential for AI to either enhance or diminish our connections with one another.

Tom's Unique Journey

Tom's path to becoming a communication consultant for the construction industry is anything but conventional. "My grandfather started a supply company in the 1940s, and my father inherited it," he explained, tracing a family lineage in construction supplies that spans generations. After serving as a Catholic priest, Tom found himself at a crossroads: "What do you do? It's hard to know what to do. And the job was there, and we had a new baby in the new house, and I needed money."

This practical decision to join the family business selling diamond-tipped saw blades would eventually lead to a deeper calling. "I found I enjoyed some parts of it, and other parts sucked my soul dry," Tom candidly shared. This tension prompted him to pursue a second master's degree in conflict resolution and organisational change work, along with certifications in mediation and coaching.

The result is a consultant with a rare combination of spiritual depth and practical industry knowledge. "I dream of my work contributing in a very small way to a better world. I work mostly with tough guys in construction, helping them be more human, helping them relate to others," Tom explained. It's a niche he describes as "a really unique niche for a former priest to have landed in. And I still don't know how it happened, but here I am."

The Communication Crisis in the Digital Age

One of the most striking observations Tom shared concerns the generational divide in communication styles. Today's digital natives, including his 24-year-old son, have developed communication habits that differ markedly from previous generations—sometimes to their detriment.

Tom recounted a revealing anecdote about his son's friend, a bright young man who needed employment: "He texts people all day long, but he wouldn't make a phone call." Despite knowing that a friend of Tom's was hiring, "It took me 40 minutes to get him to make one [call]." The young man eventually made the call and secured the job the next day, but his resistance to voice communication highlights a broader trend.

"Some of these young people have social anxiety," Tom noted. "Even my kid has told me sometimes, 'Dad, I get anxious when I have to make a phone call.'" Whilst this anxiety isn't new—many people have always found certain communication modes challenging—what's changed is the availability of alternatives. As our co-host James observed, "Years ago, you had no choice but to kind of work on that skill because it was the only way to communicate."

This shift has profound implications for how we understand communication effectiveness.

Tom referenced Albert Moravian's 1968 study suggesting that 55% of human communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and only 7% is the actual words. "But I'll bet that's different now with all the digital communication happening," he mused. "That can't be true. But there's still something fundamentally human about the body language and the tone of voice."

AI's Impact on Human Connection

When it comes to AI's role in human connection, Tom sees both promise and peril. On one hand, he acknowledges that AI can provide valuable support, particularly for those who might otherwise be isolated: "If somebody was on some project all alone and they didn't have a friend there, but AI was helping them feel heard at the end of the day... who am I to say that's a bad idea?"

The "impression of empathy" that AI can provide, whilst not the same as genuine human empathy, might still be "better than what some people can deliver," Tom suggested. This is particularly relevant in the construction environments where he works, where emotional expression may be limited by cultural norms.

However, Tom also expressed concern about the potential for AI to exacerbate isolation: "That's the part I don't like about AI, is if AI really achieves a high level of interaction, including emotional intelligence and having crucial conversations and showing that great empathy, there's more reason to become isolated. And I don't like that."

This tension—between AI's ability to provide support and its potential to replace human connection—represents one of the central challenges of our technological moment. As James noted, "We are at a sort of tipping point. It's going to be really interesting to see how it goes down."

Conflict Resolution in Construction

Construction environments are notorious for conflicts, often stemming from communication breakdowns, ego clashes, and power dynamics. Tom's expertise in conflict resolution offers valuable insights into these challenges and how AI might help address them.

Beyond the obvious factors of miscommunication and ego, Tom highlighted the role of different belief systems and personal styles: "I just did the Myers-Briggs... Sometimes that's enough, right? Somebody's an introvert and someone's an extrovert, and someone's a thinker and the other one is a feeler. And they have very different approaches."

Perhaps most intriguingly, Tom introduced the concept of "rank" as a critical factor in workplace conflicts: "If we define power as the ability to cause or prevent a change... then rank is the way that power gets structured in organisations and within an individual." The misuse of rank, he explained, is a common source of tension: "When somebody has high rank, we tend to minimise the needs and feelings of others, unless you're really aware and unless you've not forgotten your own suffering."

This insight has particular relevance for construction environments, where hierarchical structures are often rigid and where, as Tom put it, "the old school guys are like, 'No, you got to do it the way I did it.'" The generational tension between traditional approaches and newer, potentially AI-enhanced methods creates additional friction.

Creating Psychologically Safe Workplaces

The concept of psychological safety—the belief that one can speak up, take risks, and be vulnerable without fear of negative consequences—has gained increasing attention in recent years. Tom's work in construction environments offers practical insights into how to foster such safety, particularly in traditionally "tough" industries.

"Several things make a workplace safe," Tom explained, "and that would be a high level of trust, leaders of integrity, leaders who, when they make mistakes, clean up their messes, which contributes to trust, a workplace that feels physically and psychologically safe."

Physical safety remains a concern in construction, as Tom illustrated with a story about his son's potentially dangerous experience on a landscaping job. But psychological safety is equally crucial and is largely determined by how people treat each other: "The leaders set the bar for that, obviously. And the leaders by their conduct, by what they say and don't say, by how they communicate."

In construction specifically, Tom highlighted the impact of aggressive communication styles: "You get a big guy yelling at people. That is an unsafe environment to almost any brain. And they might look tough or they might not react, but the brain is wired to detect that."

As workplaces increasingly incorporate AI, psychological safety takes on new dimensions. Leaders must create environments where people feel safe to experiment with new technologies, make mistakes, and voice concerns. The approach leaders take to AI adoption can dramatically impact its success, as James illustrated with contrasting examples: one boss who made an employee feel embarrassed for using AI, and another who encouraged greater AI utilisation.

Preparing for an AI-Enhanced Future

For leaders in traditional industries like construction, preparing for an AI-enhanced future requires both personal development and organisational change. Tom emphasised the importance of continuous learning: "I think some of the best things that they can do are develop their own self to grow their own leadership potential, meaning do some coaching, do some reading, spend time in... peer learning groups."

These learning communities, such as the Vistage groups Tom mentioned, provide spaces for leaders to explore emerging technologies and management approaches. "Because in those places, they're bringing in people like you and me to educate them about how to manage what's coming," he explained.

Perhaps most importantly, Tom suggested that AI's rise demands a redefinition of what constitutes a "high performer" in organisations: "If you have people that you say are high performers, but they still yell at people, they're not high performers anymore. Change the name. You can't call them a high performer. They're a threat to your business."

This perspective aligns with James's observation that in a world where "knowledge and information has become democratised," the differentiating factor will increasingly be human skills: "It will be the person that can make that call. It will be the person that can have that emotional intelligence and see when somebody's struggling."

Conclusion: Balancing Technology with Humanity

As our conversation with Tom drew to a close, he shared some of the practices that help him maintain balance in an increasingly digital world: "I garden. I actually find that gardening and meditation... are two things that I do to sort of ground myself in the earth and ground myself in my spirit and in my heart."

These grounding practices offer a fitting metaphor for the balance we must strike between technological advancement and human connection. Just as Tom finds renewal in the tangible act of "digging in the dirt," organisations must remain rooted in the fundamental human needs for connection, understanding, and psychological safety.

The construction industry, with its blend of technical complexity and human collaboration, offers a particularly rich environment for exploring this balance. As AI tools become more prevalent on construction sites and in project management, Tom's insights remind us that the most successful implementations will be those that enhance rather than replace human connection.

"I appreciate your attention to wanting AI to be a useful tool for humanity," Tom noted in his closing remarks. "I can sense your intent to have this AI help us all and help our world and help us relate. And I value that."

In the end, that may be the most important guideline for our AI future: ensuring that technology serves as a tool for enhancing human connection rather than a substitute for it. As we navigate the rapidly evolving landscape of AI in construction and beyond, Tom's unique perspective—bridging spiritual wisdom and practical industry knowledge—offers a valuable compass.

Want to stay updated on the latest in AI and project management? Subscribe to the Project Flux newsletter for weekly insights, tools, and expert perspectives. You can also connect with Tom Esch on LinkedIn or visit his website at eschconsulting.com.